“And knowing that grief is an experience shared by all humanity let me see myself as just one wave on a great sea.” -Ram Dass
Recently I have found myself in a mindset based upon fear. More so on the fear of death, not for myself, but for the ones I love. Fear of the weight grief brings. Fear of not having the time I think I need with certain people. Fear of being in another country and not being home if anything were to happen.
This fear is based in trauma I have relived since I was a child. I have seen grandparents, uncles, cousins, friends parents, friends, and a lover transition from being on earth one day and not the next. A transition that is not widely accepted or acknowledged in the western world. A transition that usually places the phrases, “They are in a better place now.” “Heaven needed them more than we did.” “You have a guardian angel now.” For me, it was hard to find comfort in these words because I didn’t fully understand death. And after the initial shock of death, grief was not talked about.
Many of these conversations I recall having as a child while at the funerals. I now can hear the hurt in those conversations…the fear, loss, and grief in not knowing what to say or what to do. Especially how to communicate this with a child.
As I’ve grown older and experienced loss in my adult life I have seen death come in a blink of an eye. Sudden and tragic. This has left many wounds I tend to daily.
During those first years of loss, I was lost. Grief was a tsunami and I could not find any oxygen to breathe. The days were slow. My expectations were high. Why was no one talking about how damn hard this all is?
I continue to heal. I have accepted this. I have grown and found light in the darkest of places and a deep inner peace, but sometimes that doesn’t stop my mind from falling back into the fear cycle. Questions of the future I do not know yet can so easily make me afraid.
But today I have set myself free. I started a @babaramdass course “no fear, no death” that has been bringing me to this present moment. I highly recommend trying it if death causes some fear in your mind and heart.
I am reading ‘Being Ram Dass’ and he talks about the death of his stepmom. He states, “Her death engaged my heart. I didn’t need to be so afraid of grief; it didn’t separate me from the spiritual dimension. In fact, it put me more in touch with the soul plane. And knowing that grief is an experience shared by all humanity let me see myself as just one wave on a great sea.”
WOW. Grief has hurt but it has also reminded me I am alive. It has taught me how humans can love so deeply. It has taught me to take a breath and cherish every present moment. It has brought me closer to God when all I wanted to do is run. It has taught me to keep an open heart even when my heart is broken. It has shown me that death is not something to fear as it’s part of the natural cycle of life.
I am grateful for Ram Dass and his teachings. This inevitable experience shared by all of humanity is a great reminder to speak more kindly, love more deeply, and move with more compassion.
If you made it this far, Thank you for reading. May your days be filled with an utter undeniable peace even on the hardest ones. When fear creeps up on you, take a moment to sit with it. Really get intimate with fear. Do not run from it for it can be a great teacher.