My Blog
You can’t rush your healing.
Fear of death
“And knowing that grief is an experience shared by all humanity let me see myself as just one wave on a great sea.” -Ram Dass Recently I have found myself in a mindset based upon fear. More so on the fear of death, not for myself, but for the ones I love. Fear of the...
Moving to New Zealand permanently?
I am sitting on the plane in a haze with an overwhelming feeling of, “this is really it.”I’ve been talking about this move, this next step, this journey for a year and a half now. The conversations have easily slipped through my teeth like a monologue I’ve said 1000...
Last yoga class in Tulsa
I taught my last yoga class in Tulsa to some of my dearest friends today 🔆🤸Thom and I move to New Zealand next week and to be completely honest, I’m scared shitless. This move has brought up a lot of new emotions recently, very different from when I moved to Australia...
Why Vegan?
During our drive, we spotted this “Go Vegan!” piece while serendipitously listening to a podcast with @zachbushmdI am overflowing with joy to see that veganism has reached a little town in the mountains of Costa Rica 🤯🤎 My journey to becoming vegan has been just...
My New Zealand Partnership Visa is approved
Today my New Zealand partnership work visa has been approved ⏰🍃⚖️If you’ve been following our journey through this visa process you know that this has been one of the most challenging obstacles we’ve had to navigate together. After 9 months of long-distance, in...
Suffering as a reminder
There is sometimes no way to avoid suffering. It will come one day and then again & again. Slowly it can arrive or in a blink of an eye. But the good in suffering is it is a direct pathway to presence. For you are not living in the past or dreaming of the future,...
Reconnection with God
Slowly I feel myself reconnecting with the real truth. For it feels like I have been seeking the answers in the wrong places my whole life.The box that restricted me from feeling, seeing, and knowing God has been opened. I now realize, God is right here.Not somewhere...
Sometimes the grief
Sometimes the grief just rushes in and through the body without any warning sign. As if a tornado has touched the ground. These emotions twirl around inside, sometimes with great destruction. My windows fly open. Tears flood the floor. I am holding on for dear life...
Growth from 2017
I was reading my 2017 journal the other day and one page said, “Things I’m doing well:•Making juice sometimes. •Not crying all the time.•Managing. “ To now be in a place of light but have the ability to revisit the darkness in a different way through my...
The Journey
the journey. The journey to newness is a long, winding, dark road. It may almost be too unbearable to unbuckle and begin. And yet it is always necessary.The preparation for such expedition is not written in books nor is it spoken by people. You must make the first...
Love it all- the good and the bad.
It’s okay to be okay. Feel it all. Love it all. My word for grief in my life currently is ever-changing. Throughout the past three years, I have found myself on the rollercoaster of grief that has showed me the deepest of lows but also the highest of highs. I just...
Season of my life
The season of my life I am currently in is something my mind/heart/ and soul could have never imagined for myself 3 years ago. I reflect on my last December’s, curious about what each decision has brought me to this place here. December 2016 I simply asked for a...
Welcoming my grief at the door
Tonight I grieve deeply reminiscing on my short time I had with my love Trey and sweet friends Alex and Caleb. I wanted to share my experience recently and my evolving definition of this word we call “grief”. I have chosen to accept this night dedicated to feeling...
Meadow of Flowers song by Anneke
This past month I received one of the greatest gifts from a dear friend of mine Anneke We stayed up one night and I told her everything from the past two years. I talked about my grief and how much I miss Trey. She listened with an open heart and embraced me as I let...
Volunteering at Happy Buddha
To end my year of traveling I was presented with the opportunity to volunteer at a yoga retreat in the mountains of Sydney, Australia named, Happy Buddha. I arrived here with no expectations, but an open heart and mind for whatever the next 5 weeks would bring me. I...
Get Up and Get Going
With a year since Trey's accident, I thought it would be good to actually write out some of my thoughts, feelings, and experiences. Beginning life without Trey in it has been the hardest experience of my life. At the start of this change, I couldn’t feel. I had...